Unhealthy Lifestyle Observer Gifts

'I eat plenty of fast food, but I just seem to be getting slower and slower!'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'...Please stop the...'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'Don't worry. His diet's only last a day or two.'

Books or Junk Food.

Academy.

"Half-dressed Covid pizza special."

"Wait, I signed up for the traditional yoga class."

'I always thought Facebook was the perfect roommate...Until the rent came due.'

'What you need is some negative growth.'

Low fat diets.

'Do you want a fright with that?'

'We transformed our lives for the better.'

"Why don't you lose weight?"

'Okay, mine says, 'Eat healthier foods. The current health care system really sucks.''

"Thank you for your input, but I think we can rule out anorexia."

Next! (liposuction specialist)

"Does skipping breakfast count as both exercise and dieting?"

"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."

'I think your overdoing the pineapple juicing!'

Nutrition Note: As a result of eating more sensibly, the wee folks are no 3/8 inch less wee than they were a generation ago.

'This is why they call them 'rolls'.'

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

'It's just a summer complaint. You'll be as good as new by fall.'

'I'm on this 3 month diet...it only lasts a week, but it feels like 3 months.'

The Problem

'Hold on. You're my personal trainer? Look, I signed out for a work out, not a pig out.'