Ungratefulness Debater Pillows

'What's the catch?'

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Thank you healthcare heroes

"I owe everything I have today to my parents, my wife, and the bank."

Thank you for being able to celebrate in person and remotely. That you for the first responders who keep us safe. Thank you for the healthcare works who keep us healthy. Thank you for farmers and others who made this feast possible. Thank you for those who make pants with strong buttons!

'Thank you for all your help. You're like a good photocopy machine. You make a lasting impression.'

"I'm thankful I get a 4 day school holiday for Thanksgiving."

"Sometimes, God deserves a standing ovation."

'Are you nuts? -- Santa's secret identity is MY dad!'

"That's Ed's brother. He gave us the shirt off his back. Unfortunately he's still in it."

"We spent a fortune on those gifts, and they couldn't even get us a card!"

"I've been trying for ages to get that old skinflint to buy me a modern cooker!"

"It's the Dr. Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking nothing but Christmas-related calls."

"And we're thankful we're not turkeys...."

10% of Your Money Goes to Charity

"I'm going to my Grandma's on Thanksgiving to pig out...and also be thankful."

'We thank you for this food, but we wish you gave us enough sense to avoid all this cholesterol, salt and all these additives.'

"How much are we supposed to tip the guy who followed us to our room and flicked the light switch?"

"I can tell you're an excellent teacher."

2021 blessings

"Apparently, this family is still divided over politics."

Girl refusing to say grace

"I started a gratitude journal."

Thank you

Biofeedback-training: 'Ed used to be an incurable optimist but now he's cured.'

'...And I'm thankful for the president's executive action allowing us to stay in the U.S. without fear of deportation.'

Bad News on TV and Good Friends on a Sofa

"Thanksgiving is not the time to list your material desires!"

Counting Blessings

You shoved a candy cane in my ear!! Ingrate. It's customary to thank someone when she gives you a Christmas gift. In my day, people would actually mail a handwritten letter to express their gratitude. But you young losers don't respect people enough to take time to do that. My ear!!! No, it's true.

'For an opposing view to last night's editorial on the Spirit of Christmas, here's that well-known industrialist, Ebeneezer Scrooge...'