Unexpectedly Generous Pillows

I want to get Rudy a Christmas gift. What would he like? Seriously? Yes, seriously. Maybe I do spend all day mercilessly taunting him, driving him to the point of tears ... But that doesn't mean I can't give him his heart's desire for Christmas. Sometimes people still surprise me. Then I can remind him for years that I bought him a gift and he didn't buy me one! But usually not.

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"Surprise!"

"Gift"

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

Child Testing Santa Claus's Generosity

"Who would have thought, us in Hawaii, still we'd better get used to mixin' with the jet set. . ."

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

Thanks And Giving.

Deadpan Delivery.

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

"Don't be so mean...give him some money!"

'Gee, thanks pal."

Wife takes blindfolded hubby to vasectomy clinic: 'We're almost there. Happy anniversary...'

Reality Show Host

'He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated.'

"We gave generously to the most deserving charity on the planet. We've earned our bliss."

Bob wished he had gotten this cal BEFORE he gave all his money to his favourite charity.

'Spare change.'

Baldo, I really got to know you on my recent visit. I want you to come see me someday. Here is $300. Save it for your plane fare. Don't even think about using the money to buy a car."

"This is how I roll, baby."

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

"Our final honorary doctorate goes to John P. Lind, who kicked in three million clams for a chem lab."

'-with every bottle comes our free Jujitsu course!'

Please give U.S. Fire & Flooding Victims

'I think when the charity said you could 'buy a goat for Xmas' they meant for the third world.'

'Has winning all that money changed him, you ask...?'

"Don't worry about me, what do you want?"

"It says 'Good fortune comes to those who tip generously'."

"For some reason, I'm getting nicer. Where will it end?"

Hurricane Relief Thank You To States And The World.

'Good news, folks! The plumber is here!'

"I dragged a man out of a burning building. Un"fortunately, it was a fireman...