Unexpected Joke Lovers T-Shirts

"I know what I'm talking about. That battery is dead."

Faster, Georges, faster!

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"You've got to be kidding me." Hoover Dam

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

The Rural Bidet...

"If this means we're married the future looks gnarly."

'Math isn't really my long suit, Mrs. Ferguson -- how about I just take a drug test?'

Albert Einstein Tells A Joke. . .

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"I think you may be getting them mixed up-Perot is the one with charts, and Perdue is the one with chickens."

Beware of sissified, but tough dog!

I can't believe what I see phobia. 'This is your new flying traffic reporter. I think I'm dreaming.'

'Oops, actually, this is a cockroach I squashed the other day.'

"Don't mind me - finish the gag."

Sick polar bear humour...

Prosthetic snake.

'Sometimes laughter is the best medicine!'

'Herbie is my substantial penalty for LATE withdrawal.'

"May I see some ID, Madame? Haha, just kidding!"

'In, out, fiddling.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test