Underworld Themes Pillows

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Night of the Zombonies.

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

The devil you know and his plus one

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Giant slug attacks a city

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

"I hear post apocalyptic trilogies are all the rage again."

'I'm bored with the Sisyphus channel. Switch to the Tantalus channel.'

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

"This guilt complex is killing me!"

"The 'Ex' huh?"

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

The insurance giants do battle, ironically costing their own companies billions of dollars in claims,

"Something has to change....my life is turning into pure hell."

Can't Count Dracula

"Yep! - Your boiler's definitely on the blink..."

A Heated Argument

Demon in the elevator. Man says: 'Sorry, are you going up or down?'

After hours TV.

'I was just wondering how much longer I'll be working in the bowels?'

'They come down here to smoke.'

"You're a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch. You'll do well down here."

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

This looks unusual, but these things have a mind of their own.