Underworld Themes Pillows

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Night of the Zombonies.

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

The devil you know and his plus one

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"It's true: no more burpees."

Giant slug attacks a city

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

'I thought you said you wanted to spoon me!'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

"I hear post apocalyptic trilogies are all the rage again."

'I'm bored with the Sisyphus channel. Switch to the Tantalus channel.'

"This guilt complex is killing me!"

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

"The 'Ex' huh?"

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

Can't Count Dracula

"Something has to change....my life is turning into pure hell."

The insurance giants do battle, ironically costing their own companies billions of dollars in claims,

"Yep! - Your boiler's definitely on the blink..."

After hours TV.

'I was just wondering how much longer I'll be working in the bowels?'

'They come down here to smoke.'

Demon in the elevator. Man says: 'Sorry, are you going up or down?'

"You're a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch. You'll do well down here."

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

This looks unusual, but these things have a mind of their own.