Underground Lit Fan Pillows

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

"No, still there."

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

'Why did Oliver Twist?'

'You should've seen how he stood his ground with the board of directors this morning. I swear, the guy must have icewater in his veins!'

'It's been taken care of.'

'All I said was,'do you want decking,sir?'

Avon lady (selling foundation cream) tapping a builder on the shoulder.

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

Fixing the light

Blues musicians who never found their audience

'Bill, in the country it's a CELLAR not a BASEMENT! I won't come down 'til you use the proper term.'

Jump Stop

'Dad, where do they keep their chargers?'

Flower Seller.

"Will you put something on?"

"I know it's a classic. But I could only get halfway through it."

"My mom really works at keeping my lunches interesting!"

'What would it cost to change it into a one-way glass house?'

'Let's wail!'

'I appreciate your concern for the natino's infrastructure, and I assure you we're doing everything we can.'

Man nails in a picture of boxing wearing boxing gloves.

Episcopalian Flue Jab.

Jue des Boules