Undergoing Chemotherapy Pillows

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

"It's just a beginning, I suppose, but I'm feeling really good about my clothes."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

Female chemotherapy warrior.

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'Will the surgery leave a scar?'

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

"Don't be afraid to laugh at your problems. Everyone else does!"

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

"Frank's always been afraid of change."

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

Shrink Saloon.

'Nurse! With this chemo cocktail, get me some mixed nuts and pretzels!'

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

I'd like to apologize for some of the crazy things I've said today, Al. Apparently, while you, yourself, do not suffer from insanity, you're a carrier.