Underestimated Winners Gifts

Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

Procrastinators Incorporated

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

Published but unread poet.

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

Stop the big guy!

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

'The insect repellant was a flop, however it's now a killer ance drug!'

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

Balloons vs. Rockets

'Remember I said I wish I had more arms so I could get more things done? Well the doctor took care of that problem.'

'He can ignore you in seven different languages.'

Reality Show Host

"This new poem lacks his usual vindictive sarcasm. It's just a victimless rhyme."

A 'Life is Sweet!' Moment

Resistance.

'I think I can...'

Too-Humble Pie.

"When he said he was using the lockdown as an opportunity to make something I thought he meant a coffee table."

'Let me guess, a graduate of the 'school of hard knocks'?'

'Dang! We make a couple of stupid errors, and here come the boo birds.'

Too small to play forward. Too slow to play guard.

'I got it for potty training.'

"Will he know what this is about?"

Sucessful forth place

'Ha! How stupid do they think we are? Like we're really gonna bite a hook to get a measly worm so that we can be reeled up. Pretty pathetic, isn't it, Bill.....Bill?'

Working class woman with a black eye in the witness box

Sardines

It's the same thing season after season. We just can't compete with the large-market teams.

Fourth Place

I told you so

Woman returning from Weight Watchers - ""You're late - did you get detention?"