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We Can Deprogram Racists

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

Dog Nightmares

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

X-ray Psychology.

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Unguided imagery

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"This piece resembles my subconscious desire to draw spirals on a big piece of paper."

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

A Padlock and a Pet Key.

I think therefore I am.

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

"You have got to want to change."

Lost and Profound.

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'