Unapologetic Humorist T-Shirts

Ethics exam cheater.

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Clown on bike.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"