Umpiring Aficionado T-Shirts

"Portrait of a Lady"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Why moms make bad refs.

'...I don't like your chances!'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

Cricket widow's revenge 2

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'