Ultimate Slacker T-Shirts

'Some guys wait awhile before showing their true colors. I appreciate you not wasting any time.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

Intermediate Slouching.

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

Boss With Whistle.

The Sedentary Dead.

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

You're not a team player, Peters - and I think we can all agree that's a good thing. Beer.

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

Man in office watching TV instead of a computer monitor.

'I'm on a great career path that never leaves my apartment.'

'I'm running late again this morning...' - '...in the vain hope that somebody will fire me.' - 'Gah. My life is ridiculous.'

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

'Out to Hunch.'

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

'You know sooner or later they'll notice you've replaced your monitor with a portable TV.'

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

'I don't feel like getting out of bed today - Just tell everybody to go with laissez-faire.'

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

"Have you seen Joey?"

"I act unreliable so people won't ask me to do anything."

'Mr. Bosley and I will be busy all afternoon investigating offshore opportunities.'

'I don't care if you hit the office football pool - get back to work!'

Pro Procrastination

'The weather was much to rotten to go to work.'

"Joey...I need you spending more time helping customers."

"Honestly, Baldo, sometimes you're languid to the point of lethargy. Wouldn't you say you're torpid."

Relax, Dobson...I'm not here for another one of your crazy excuses...but it's good to know where to come if I ever need one.

Throwing snails into next door's garden