Ufology Pillows

"Nessie's been abducted by aliens."

"The humans sent these signals out in the seventies. You think they're going to buy 'Sorry, just seeing this now!"

Alien contact.

"No, we don't want to abduct you. We just want your wallet."

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

"You don't even want to know where your key is!"

"Hey Ed, take a look at this...more sleigh bells...what is this thing?"

"I can drive this ship much better than you!!"

'Lawn circles just don't have the same impact.'

'Call Homeland Security and find out if Bin Laden is behind it.'

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

"I'm telling you we goofed, it's upside down!"

"According to your report he didn't take the probing very well."

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

"Welcome to the land of Nod, Cain."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

PSA Banter.

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

Wifi in Hell

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"Would you relax? They never look up."

Alien Snowmen

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.