Typist In Training Pillows

'Sorry about some of the punctuation -- I haven't learned the top row of the keyboard yet.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Someone who knows apostrophes

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'How many words per minute do you type?'

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

'He's a man of few works. He likes to talk, he just has a limited vocabulary.'

'Nice graphics.'

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

'How could Homer write The Iliad and The Odyssey with a quill pen on parchment when I can't write a memo with a computer?'

"My essay is titled Essay: Educational Tool or Tired Cliche?"

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

Nice moves—is that an air piano or are you doing the E-Mail?"

'I can type 500 words per minute.'

'Yes, we can get all this into your ad, but we'll have to set the copy in 0.00005 point type.'

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

'I typed it that way because I thought that punctuation would just slow it down.'

The origins of bullet points.

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

'I really need to become a great poet while I still have time before I graduate.'

The most important part of your job application. Font selection.