Typing Skills Pillows

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

'How many words per minute do you type?'

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Sales Secretary

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

Nice moves—is that an air piano or are you doing the E-Mail?"

'I can type 500 words per minute.'

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

'You must have a lot of untapped potential.'

Secretary

Penny got carpal tunnel, and had to hunt and peck.

Snail Writer

'I think maybe the spell checker wore out.'

'I think maybe the spell checker wore out.'

"We haven't perfected it yet... it's still only typing with two fingers."

'See that letter from Jones and Company? Nicely typed.' - 'Good grammar too.'

Hippex

'Have you considered your x-height?'

"Then it's agreed. I'll send you a lieutenant in exchange for a clerk typist and a staff sergeant."

I type 90 words per minute and shred even faster!

'Administrative positions in the Space Department require special skills.'