Type A Enthusiast Gifts

'I would definitely say I'm a 'type A' personality.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"I started a collection!"

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

"I'm just not in an Australian-movie mood, O.K.?"

Macho man body building club.

You're my Statue of Liberty

Armless chainsaw juggler.

"Read this. It's a draft of a novel I'm writing fro the young adult market. I want to make sure there's absolutely nothing in it you can relate to."

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

'Of course, I do have a very supportive wife.'

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

"Oh, vowels are so 2019!"

"Larry, stop signing your memos with your initials. No one takes them seriously."

"I was a best seller! I sold millions of copies! Now look at me, a glorified coaster."

"The last time he came out to play with you, you reassigned his gender."

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."

'I always wanted to be a genre, but I'm worried I've become a cliche.'

"Thanks to our wonderful research team we can now offer you gender choice at birth and puberty."

The $68.00 comeback special

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

"If winning isn't everything, why do you break down and cry when your stocks fall?"

Inserts

Books - As Seen on TV.

"That's right - I'm talking to you."

Born leader

"I'm sorry, sir. The manager said, you bought it, tough s**t."

"That stabbing pain in your abs -- that's your body telling you it'd rather be on the beach."

American Eagle inflates the White House using a Pump

"I don't care if you're an alpha male now! I'm still your mother and you'll do as you're told! Got it?!"