Twitter Skeptic T-Shirts

"And me without a Twitter account."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Studies show foods work miracles!

CIA report

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

I.T. Fear

The Proust of Twitter

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Why do you hate the media?

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

tRUMp, Pirate President

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

Privacy

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.