Twin Jokester Mugs

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'These are the twins, 'Whipper' & 'Snapper,'!'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'What, not even a kiss first?'

'Tax man practical joker sticks sign on colleague's back which reads; Tax me.'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

"And here's one I made up called 'Mama's Last Nerve.'"

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

"It's cardio day for me and external-obliques day for Joan."

Robot porn.

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

'I think you're mistaking me for my twin sister.'

'Any idea why your boyfriend is handing out cigars in the pub?'

"I did my homework, but my little brother took it to his 'show and tell'."

Gang of Musicians