Tweeting Tail-wagger Gifts

'He ignores my commands. But he does follow me on Twitter.'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"He's already getting attached to you."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

'You tell me how he does it.'

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

'I heard my master say I was getting fixed...I didn't even know I was broken!'

'He's barking mad!'

Headshot of perky dog.

"No, I did not sniff you!"

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"Hello? I`d like to report a missing person..."

"My dog is NOT a child substitute. Not according to his headmaster anyway."

'I think the planners made a mistake.'

'This one keeps dog time.'

A Dog's Grave.

'Ever noticed how people resemble their pets?'

Pet

Handshakes.

'Oh forget it, I'll take a bath.'

What if dogs were charming...

"When the time is right I intend to lead a canine revolution that will bring about a new world order. Until then I'm just hanging around acting cute."

"Not THAT sort of begging..!"

Naughty Dog with Wagging Tail

'You're retiring from practice? Right in the middle of examining my dog?'

'If you're so smart, let's see you scratch your ear with your foot.'