Tweet-a-holic T-Shirts

"Whistling while you work is fine, Harris, but the Tweeting has to stop."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Text Culture

Obsession with the Internet.

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Bird Tweet.

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"Tell the world, are you digging for world peace?"

"The source of all those mystery tweets."

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

"Tell you what, just tweet me your order when you're ready."

'Wow, these messages are even shorter than twitter tweets.'

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

'Literacy is NOT overrated!'

"It was his tweets I fell in love with first!"

"So then I thought...who needs speech writers when I can just recite all my old tweets!"

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

If a tree falls in the forest but there's no hashtag for it ...

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

My Fair Lady Twitter

"How about putting that in a tweet?"

The twittering president.

'I'm thinking of writing a tweet.'

I'm your ghost twitterer. It's a marketing vehicle for your radio show. You're stealing my identity because if you used your own, no one would follow your tweets! You've got 3,000 followers. They're living to read about your every movement. Beating on pause. Beating on pause.

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