Tv Watcher On Ice Pillows

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Tree house.

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Fishermen

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'Och lye the news'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

"He's an indoor cat."

Couch and Potato

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'