Tv Time-travelers Pillows

'School would be all right if you could just go during commercials.'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

'That's about it so far, Son.'

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Cord cutter

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

Time for vacation, time for work.

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Sundial Time

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."