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Watchdog

"They grow up so fast."

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Lazy Octopus

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

7 Dwarves of Retirement

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Tunnel of TV

Homo Zapiens

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

"If I were you, I wouldn't change the channel!"

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

7 Dwarves of Fatherhood

"We need to walk."

"See, Honey, I told you that TV would fit in this room!"

'Come on, you're telling me that you don't watch the Discovery Channel.'

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'