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Death by Television

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

In the Guru District

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Claus 2.0

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'That's about it so far, Son.'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Evolution.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Gen-Next Library

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'