Tv Talent Show Fans Mugs

CD shop full of manufactured pop,

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

The Drummer

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

Trump commissions song

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

The Ox Factor

'You look and sound like a real pro.'

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

Executives are evaluated in Dancing With The Stars style.

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'

Simon Cowell

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

'Sorry, I already have a Dancer.'

The ocean is no place for a star.

'I see ol' bug-eyes is back.'

'Usual Saturday night crap.'

Eh... yes Mister eh... Genghis. Can I just ask where did you get your boots?

"She's good because she is our bookkeeper."

'You call that carol singing?'

'Each one of you will to sing your job creation and tax plans. . . the 'American Idle' will vote for 'the American President'.'

'...and all going well, definitely no more than 15 minutes of fame!'

Mic Drop

"Oh heck, it’s going to be a long night, someone’s pressed the golden buzzer."

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'