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Further Sanctions

Showbiz Awards

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Big screen TV falling through floor

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

The cradle of mankind

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.