Tv Show Giggler Prints

"Oh no - a ciderman"

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Cavemen Exhibit

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

'If Batman can have a batmobile why can't a snowman...'

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

Confession Ratings.

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

Virtual chicken crossing the road.

"It was your idea to call him Christopher Robin!"

The Big A** Theory

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

"Captain...I'm detecting Hemorrhoids off our starboard bow."

'It needs more punctuation.'

Nah, not up to much – just got let go by a sneeze, so I'm between bodies.

If I don't, he'll just wander off.

A turtle takes a bath.

"Hey Vincent, I got a certified letter today. Apparently the birds have reported us stalking them and have taken out a restraining order against us."

"It's really freaking me out!! Every time I go for a walk I hear footsteps behind me. I stop, they stop, I turn around..."

"You do realize that this entire side of the galaxy is laughing at you and your NASCAR fixation don't you?"

You didn't tell me it was iTheatre...

'My next song is about a singer who should get into another line of work.'

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

Summer in Italy

"It looks like the only time I can fitness walk is at 7 pm...when my favorite telenovela starts..."

'...Hi. Just called to say I ate a bag of chips.'

'Did we ever hit menopause?'