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"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"They grow up so fast."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Trump pardons

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Difference of Opinion

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

The Berlin Peace Movement

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

DUNVOTIN

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Can't Touch This

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Europe and immigration.

'My plan for the mid east has approval of both Houses of Congress, Oprah, Larry King, Lettermen and Leno.'

Local News in Heaven

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

Tunnel of TV

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'