Tv Marathon Night Gifts

"They finally did it! They put 33 minutes of commercials into a 30-minute show."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

American Idle.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV-Man

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Binge Watch

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Starvation Watching

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Celebrating Labor Day assumes you've labored at least one day during the previous year."

Birthday To-Do List

Movies through the decades.

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

John Stride

Inactive wear store.

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'