Tv Jingle Aficionado Pillows

'Fine old-fashioned musical evening this turned out to be - Can't you all sing anything except television jungles?'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Television Readers.

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Hacking through ice in order to fish

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

100 best beheadings

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"He's an indoor cat."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Couch and Potato

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."