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America's funniest campaign promises...

Trial by Media

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'Einsteiners.'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

TV jester.

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

TV-Man

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Big screen TV.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

"Which news channel should we watch?"

Love is when you watch television together.

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?