Tv Cooking Show Critic Gifts

'Gentlemen, put your money away. When it comes to killing TV chefs, I work for free.'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

Keith Floyd.

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"'Market Price' isn't about the food. It's what we think we can charge YOU."

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Here's one I made earlier.

Mary Berry

'Henri! We found your sweatband!'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

My Cauldron Rules

"Are you sure its supposed to look like that?"

Taste of the east (London).

"I should have known he has absolutely no morals - I've seen how he loads a dishwasher."

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

'These celebrity cookbooks are getting ridiculous.'

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

"Oh no, not dinner again!"

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

'Amazing - No sooner do we invent cooking than we get the first celebrity chef.'

"Guilty! The broth was awful!"

'Meat cooked? Yes, but the carrots are hard.'

'One thing about your salads, I learn a lot about insects. You forgot to wash the lettuce again!'

'Hey, I enjoyed that meal. Did you get the caterers in, or something?'

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"