Tv Cooking Show Addict Prints

'What began as a perfectly normal TV evening changed abruptly when Jamie Oliver suddenly began desecrating the Saladifist religious community's holiest relic... '

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"When did they add this channel?!"

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

Chefs

'Gentlemen, put your money away. When it comes to killing TV chefs, I work for free.'

"The recipe says, that the whipped cream has to be piped onto the sponge."

'Ready, steady, Operate'

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

'It's indigestion due to your lifestyle, you're watching too many T.V. cookery shows.'

'Son, do you think I'm ready for my own cooking show?'

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

"...and here's some I made earlier..."

'Celebrity chef' 'Celery chef'

"Which cooking competition show did you get your training from?"

"And now a recipe for disaster..."