Tv Commercial Cynic Prints

'Oh, him? Much as he tried to avoid them,so many endless TV commercials kept popping up while watching his programs that, finally, one more caused him to snap!'

'Side effects may include....'

The Nihilist Deli.

Overdose of election campaign ads on TV.

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

Obama builds own gallows.

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

"Has this ever happened to you? Well, with our Medical Emergency Distress System..."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"They do say results will vary."

'It's like home from home, really-rubbish telly, lousy grub..'

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

"The only side effect from this new drug will be a mind-numbing barrage of commercials on daytime TV."

"It's always easy to tell when then TV commercials for Christmas toys have started."

'Are your game broadcasts interrupted by screaming TV pitch men...'

"Next up...is Christmas too commercialized? But first a word from 'Big AL's Xmas Emporium! 5 Santas, No Waiting!'"

'For those of you who sneaked into the kitchen during the commercial - the least you could've done was bring me a sandwich.'

"Am I covered for the brain cell damage caused by your TV commercials?"

'I'm using my eyes, how are you looking at it?'

'We've been picking up your television broadcasts, and we're here to buy some of those neat steak knives!'

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'

'Your arteries are 90% clogged with all the junk food advertised on T.V.'

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

"We interrupt this endless stream of mind-numbing adverts to bring you a TV programme..."

"I'll have one long Belch ale, an Old Makesmepee, and two Dumb Flirt Lights on tap."

HELLth-care Insurance

'Nothing. Turn off the porch light.'

"This medication did take care of my rash. However, like the TV commercial claimed, it did come with a few side effects."

"Here, this one says it gives cold relief in seven to ten days. . . wait a minute! Don't colds usually only last seven to ten days?"

"It's not fair. I'm a celebrity. Half the stuff written about me isn't even true."

"If this ad drives you crazy, you may be entitled to compensation."

'I'm sick of all these men's virility enhancement TV ads. . . they're embarrassing to watch!'

"How can you sit there watching one commercial after another?"