Tv Commercial Cynic Prints

'Oh, him? Much as he tried to avoid them,so many endless TV commercials kept popping up while watching his programs that, finally, one more caused him to snap!'

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

'Side effects may include....'

The Nihilist Deli.

Overdose of election campaign ads on TV.

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

Obama builds own gallows.

Defend the Cult of Militant Nonviolence!

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

"Has this ever happened to you? Well, with our Medical Emergency Distress System..."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"They do say results will vary."

"The only side effect from this new drug will be a mind-numbing barrage of commercials on daytime TV."

"So much for the news, now for the corrections."

'It's like home from home, really-rubbish telly, lousy grub..'

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

"It's always easy to tell when then TV commercials for Christmas toys have started."

'I'm using my eyes, how are you looking at it?'

'Are your game broadcasts interrupted by screaming TV pitch men...'

"Next up...is Christmas too commercialized? But first a word from 'Big AL's Xmas Emporium! 5 Santas, No Waiting!'"

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'

'For those of you who sneaked into the kitchen during the commercial - the least you could've done was bring me a sandwich.'

'Your arteries are 90% clogged with all the junk food advertised on T.V.'

"Am I covered for the brain cell damage caused by your TV commercials?"

'We've been picking up your television broadcasts, and we're here to buy some of those neat steak knives!'

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

"We interrupt this endless stream of mind-numbing adverts to bring you a TV programme..."

"If this ad drives you crazy, you may be entitled to compensation."

"This medication did take care of my rash. However, like the TV commercial claimed, it did come with a few side effects."

"I'll have one long Belch ale, an Old Makesmepee, and two Dumb Flirt Lights on tap."

"How can you sit there watching one commercial after another?"

'I'm sick of all these men's virility enhancement TV ads. . . they're embarrassing to watch!'

'Nothing. Turn off the porch light.'

"It's not fair. I'm a celebrity. Half the stuff written about me isn't even true."

"Here, this one says it gives cold relief in seven to ten days. . . wait a minute! Don't colds usually only last seven to ten days?"