Tv Comedy Fans Gifts

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

'In the event of a new Gulf War, Letterman and Leno agreed to reduce their arsenal of middle eastern jokes and stockpile them for possible use later...'

'We interrupt this program for a report about bad manners.'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Why do they do that?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

Bad fake tan day.

Giraffe Umbrella

Vlad the Impala

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

A Fairytale Update

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"That'll be five bucks."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'