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Kwality Time

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Taking a peek at the audience

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

TV jester.

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

TV-Man

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Big screen TV.

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

"Which news channel should we watch?"

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

Child hooking into a television

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'