Tutor Gifts

"Daddy works in a magical, faraway land called Academia."

'Don't be embarrassed to ask for help Dad.'

'I've gotten over my fear of tests, but now I seem to have developed studying anxiety.'

'No Jimmy! You can't cite Wikipedia as the main source for your assignment!'

"I can't play video games after school, I have to help my father with his homework."

Gretchen encounters the mother of all SAT questions.

"This doesn't leave much room for creativity."

'Correct...Now do it again, and this time, with feeling.'

Exams

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'I look forward to my first year as a teacher. I wrote lesson plans, attended in-service workshops, and decorated my classroom. Preparation is half the victory. It's the other half that scares me.'

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

'Oh, what the heck -- why not a dissertation on 'Baywatch'?'

'I finished my homework, and half my college freshman courses.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

"No, I'm not in trouble. My mom's here being tutored so she can help men in Common Core math."

'New career low - gave out a page of Ulysses to my freshmen and they thought it was a wordsearch.'

'I'm sorry I don't understand a word you're saying...'

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

"I don't get it. If it's an aptitude test, why didn't they let me use my apps?"

"At this school we stress critical thinking. And right now I'm very critical of your thinking."

'Be sure to tell all your friends how much you enjoy these lessons.'

"We help the student qualify for one of the major tutoring centers."

'My biology teacher said I was becoming a pain in the gluteus maximus, whatever that is.'

"Well, I can't figure it out either. Do we know anyone that can help us with math homework?"

'Take out your eBooks and open up 'Understanding Algebra.' Turn to page 198. Open your smart phone's math app and select 'solving quadratic equations.''

'About this time of year, I start thinking of them in the past tense.'

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

'Home Schooling'

Aristotle Instructs Young Alexander in Philosophy

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'You have to learn arithmetic in case your computer crashes.'

"The tutor is for me. I hired him to help me so I can help our son with his homework. To be honest, I should just stay out of it."