Turtle Pace Enthusiasts T-Shirts

You know what I hate? Late fees.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Turtle Trailer Court

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'Leo, did you forget to walk the snail?'

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

The Stripper

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

"I'm a monster."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'Grrrr....'

Ike and Tina Turtle.

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

"We haven't danced in ages."

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

Newborn bird sees tortoise and starts wearing shell.

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

Tortoise polishing his shell

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Tortoises breakdancing

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'I'm going to be a little late.'

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'