Turtle Fans Pillows

It's an anti-tipping device, I thought of it while watching Drag-Racing on TV...

'Hip!'

"That was a hell of a party, I can't remember anything"

'She hates getting her feet wet.'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"Has this ever happened to you? Well, with our Medical Emergency Distress System..."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Tiger Costume

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

'Grrrr....'

"We haven't danced in ages."

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

Ike and Tina Turtle.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Newborn bird sees tortoise and starts wearing shell.

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

Tortoises breakdancing

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'I'm going to be a little late.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"