Turning A New Age Bracket Pillows

"Call Mr. Oliphant and wish him happy birthday. Then raise his rate 400 dollars for being in a new age bracket."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Gary turns 40.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"I'm here for the hair."

Ed's receding hairline!

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

David Blaine, Age 60

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'Your 40th? Well maybe if you're talking about the number of cans you've had!'

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.