Turf Taming Extraordinaire T-Shirts

Gardener laying turf.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Golf Hil Divot

'Of course, now that we have turf, we'll need someone to protect it.'

Try to extinguish the potting shed...brush wood ash into a neat pile - it will make valuable plant food.

A misery of mole hills

Football fan

How does she get her grass so green?

Al's Garden Supply vs. Joe's Sporting Goods

Golden Village: Lawn Mowing Races

'Did you know that our lawn is astroturf? I think our parents must be total psychos.'

'I expected some rough, but not this rough.'

"Bless this mess: The beautifully tangled reasons you *still* wear wired headphones"

'It's a privilege. Not everyone is fortunate enough to make my team, but those who do are proud to wear the brand.'

"I lost control of the mower and composted most of your garden."

Keep Off The Plastic Grass

Mountain Rescue.

Greener grass.

Football Pitch Line Markings.

"He's in charge of mowing... I mainly fertilize."

'Are those plugs, Carl?'

"With the lockdown and the weather getting nicer, Jason's normal terrace envy is soaring sky high."

"In this tournament we have created a different level of difficulty."

'What are they?' 'My prize winning divots!'