Tsa Agents Pillows

Freaking Out at the Airport

F&E Diner. The TSA agent turned health inspector didn't find any violations. Our soup is on the "no-fly" list.

'It is part of the security upgrade.'

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

'Sure, it's an improvement. But I guess we'll need to get to the airport a lot earlier from now on...'

"Technically, he has enough flyer miles."

UK border controls relaxed.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Where was the TSA?'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Meet Santa's entourage

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

'Therapy in L.A.'

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

'One carry-on!'

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

Hollywood, 2083.

"I can't stop conducting random security checks."

"It's marzipan pigs."

TSA