Truth-twister Tracker Pillows

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

'Obviously, I know a lot of weasel words, so I would be great in a business development role...'

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

Jack and the Beanstalk.

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

Evidence board

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

Burke and Hare and Hare

Serf faints as apple is shot from his head by an arrow.

'Telling them there is no meaning to life only ruins it for the rest of us.'

Daily Mail Reader

News: Clown found in hot tub with pigs

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

"When you told me that your father owned several banks, you failed to mention that they're all piggy banks."

'Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, except if your wife asks if she looks fat?'

Political Science 101: This semester's topics - twisting of facts, manipulation, power-grabbing.

"Urgent message from Captain Sasson, sir - do you know any words that rhyme with orange?"

A difficult position.

'You call it a lie. I think of it as augmented reality.'

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, let me present the alternative facts of the case."

Spin Doctor

'Judging from your resume, you must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Careful - it's full of lies."

'We have good news and bad news. The good news is we've developed a credible spin for the bad news...'

Cameron speaks out about EU - or did he?