Trust Investigator Gifts

Wives in the Trees

"We already have a state of the art security system. Why do we need a house detective?"

"He's falsified data, he's falsified results...and now he says he loves me."

"I've checked and cross-checked: nothing he's told me so far has been true! He's a true weasel alright..."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"