Trust Troubler Gifts

'The Big Guy seems to trust him. Would you help us kill him?'

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

"Don't feel bad, my mail server goes down sometimes, too."

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

"I think I found the phone."

The auto-update demons attack-again."

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

"He's falsified data, he's falsified results...and now he says he loves me."

Testing a Fiancee

Wrong end of extension cord.

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

"Who's God?"

CAPTAIN PLUNGER. Colour

"Maybe it's just playing dead."

'You're not calling the Help Desk again, are you?'

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

'Hello?...Customer service?...Uhhh...How do you open the box?'

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

Harold M.: He's Sure Taking A Lot Of Chances!

'It just seems like, ever since the system upgrade, nothing's where it should be.'

"Handwriting analysis has revealed that Spencer is not in fact my husband."

'I think we found the cause of your modem lag.'

"We already have a state of the art security system. Why do we need a house detective?"

Sandra believed honesty to be the foundation of a good relationship.

"They say you can influence people by projecting a sense of trustworthiness."