Troubleshooting Titan Gifts

'I tried to find out if I could toast bread with the sun bed and fell asleep...!'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

Where was I?

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

Kevin had a computer virus.

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

"I think we could work very well together."

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Wha about trying another antivirus?

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

"Turn down the bass."

Socially responsible kid throws rubbish in the bin.

'I made a substitute in the recipe. Take-out.'

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

"She's also the only one who knows how to unjam the copy machine."

Congratulations for male runner

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'The computer's down again.'

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"

'Welcome to the rat race.'

'It's one of those viruses that corrupt every damn thing.'

Cut out and keep your own IT expert.

Monitor Reads: Now You've Done It! AAIIIIEEE...

"And for my next trick, I will attempt to work on this PC for ten minutes without it crashing!"

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'