Trouble Enthusiast Gifts

'When I pull the lever, Dad yells real loud!'

"Since you've been here, you've caused nothing but mayhem and and trouble - please, please leave."

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"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

Kiwi Ingenuity

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.

Umbrella Roof

Ezra's purchase of an off-brand gps device meant he'd never get the chance to make his horse drink,

Business Confusion

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

A good leader has effective conflict resolution strategies in place.

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"The pilots are trained on all the plane's technology, but they're still having a hard time with the backup camera."

Computer Frustration

"You need to learn to solve your own problems."

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

"I'm not doubting that it does the job well. All I'm saying is that it might be a little more than is actually necessary."

'Unfortunately we're approaching the expiration dates on most of our quick-fix solutions.'

"And how many stacks were there yesterday? Quit checking your notes"

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'Well, it didn't work, so now we'll try it your way.'

'You may not realise it, dear. But, Daddy is helping you, by not helping you with your homework.'