Tropical Retreator T-Shirts

'I miss the noise, the pollution and all the other stuff that we came here to get away from.'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Desert Island Meals.

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Pina Coladas

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

Lounging by the pool

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

'...I said we've been marooned.'

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

I'm carrying a tiki torch for you!

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

Desert Island Fantasies

PIna Colada

'These virtual-reality goggles are great! Right now, I'm sun-bathing in Tahiti...'

Neurotics in the tropics

WPOV's (White People On Vacation)

"It's not a big deal! Everyone gets bitten by insects on holiday occasionally."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

'I think Fred's taken the idea of having a conservatory a little too far!'

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

Sun Worship

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

'Two for French Polynesia.'

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','

'It appears to be some sort of tropical disease.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"On the contrary. I think the Carribbean countries have a great many education practices that are worth studying."

"I swear, if you say 'I'm bored' one more time . . . "

'If those coconuts ever ripen, I'm not eating them!'