Trilogy T-Shirts

"I hear post apocalyptic trilogies are all the rage again."

Comedy and tragedy masks

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

Star Wars Audience

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"Of course, people were much shorter back then."

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

La Boheme - Mimi dies

"Of course it's depressing. It's supposed to be depressing. It's a tragedy."

Sugar And Spice And Full On Drama

"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."

Quackie was sure he would beat all his competitors, mistakenly believing that the three stages of the triathlon were swimming, running and flying.

"I'm pregnant."

A writer writing humour and tragedy at the same time.

'No, son, this is a theater, not the stock exchange.'

Comedy, Tragedy, Facelift

Who d'you think you are?

"Oh, we have a special hell for triathletes. It's just like regular life, except you can't talk about your triathlons."

"Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?"

Runners have a pay toll.