Trick-or-treating Expert Mugs

"I accept candy or cash - I don't take stickers."

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

Trick or Tweet

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

"This is your Aunt Blizzard. She's the wicked witch of the Northeast."

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

Alien Spaceship Crashes - On Halloween. House owner think he is trick or treating.

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

'All I've got so far is a bag of stuffing.'

A few Halloween costume ideas.

'I swear, you kids get better costumes every year! Where's your trick-or-treat bag?'

"With Tia Carmen's chickens, we'll get twice as much candy!"

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

'You don't look anything like Count Dracula and I should know, because he's a personal friend of mine.'

"I'm your sun!"

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"Friendly? I'll say! You walk up to a house and they give you candy."

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."

Halloween Bummer: Your Mom makes you wear a sweater over your costume.

'My bag had a hole in it so I ate all my candy.'

Halloween. Trick or Treat trophy.

"Bye. Sorry we didn't have any worms."

"I switch to this mask if I know the homeowner is more of a cat person."

"Too soon?"

"When's the last time you flossed?"

A heifer you can't refuse,...

Rumor has it he owns a candy factory.

Ellen's friends suddenly realized she was a real witch.

"It's festive. But I think it means no candy."

"I did share! I gave Dougie all my melted candy."

'Hey, honey! Come look at all these scary mortgage lenders and Wall Street bankers!'